Summary of Full Social Skills Guide: How To Make Friends Online

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00:00:00 - 01:00:00

This YouTube video provides a comprehensive guide to improving social skills and making friends online. The speaker emphasizes the importance of cultivating high-quality friendships based on shared values and missions, as opposed to instant gratification and substances. Specific social skills such as eye contact, body language, and conversational techniques are discussed, and the speaker encourages viewers to practice and take risks in social situations. The importance of genuine eye contact, basic conversations, deeper conversations, and engagement in online communities is highlighted as well. Ultimately, the video stresses the importance of humility, authenticity, and holistic self-improvement to develop successful relationships.

00:00:00 In this section, the speaker distinguishes between two types of friendships: bad influencer friends, like Jeffrey, and true friends, like Adonis' group of brothers. The speaker shares personal experiences of not having many real friends and realizing that most of his previous friendships were based on instant gratification and substances, rather than true connection and growth. He emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with friends who share the same values and mission, who are willing to provide constructive criticism and help each other grow, and who can bond over more than just partying and substance abuse. Finally, the speaker expresses gratitude for his current healthy group of friends who he met in the gym and who support each other in their gym goals, as well as their personal growth and emotional support.
00:05:00 In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing a period of solitude and loneliness in order to improve your social skills and ultimately make new, high-quality friends. He warns against spending time with low-quality people who are bad influences and highlights the importance of humility in recognizing the need to improve social skills. The speaker also discusses specific social skills such as eye contact, body language, and conversational techniques, and encourages viewers to go out and implement what they have learned in order to improve their social skills.
00:10:00 In this section, the speaker talks about the importance of social intelligence in avoiding awkward social situations and making friends. He compares it to leveling up in a video game and encourages viewers to keep practicing even if they experience rejection or awkwardness. He gives the example of going to the gym and starting at a low weight, and how with practice it becomes easy. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of understanding social norms and cues, and recommends approaching strangers in places that you frequently visit as a good way to make friends. He concludes that social intelligence can be improved with practice and intention, and that even if you don't get the reaction you hoped for, your social intelligence has still improved.
00:15:00 In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of taking risks in social situations and not being too worried about feeling awkward or creepy because the feeling of loneliness is far worse. However, it's important to understand what causes a situation to feel creepy or awkward so that you can learn to avoid it in the future. The speaker recommends visualizations as a way to combat negative thoughts and to visualize success instead. When approaching strangers, it's important to not shock or scare anyone, avoid making them uncomfortable, and break the touch barrier appropriately. Finally, the speaker mentions that many of his successful approaches have included giving compliments.
00:20:00 In this section of the video, the speaker talks about how to give compliments effectively and the importance of cultivating social intelligence. He explains that the key to giving good compliments is to understand what makes people feel good and connected, while also avoiding any compliments that might come across as creepy. He emphasizes the importance of going through the trials and tribulations of being awkward or creepy in order to build social confidence and be successful in social situations. The speaker also gives tips on how to smile authentically by focusing on the feeling of happiness rather than the muscles on the face. Finally, he discusses how body language can convey a lot about a person and encourages viewers to people watch to gain a better understanding of how it works.
00:25:00 In this section, the speaker discusses how our thoughts and emotions shape our body language and overall appearance. Trying to consciously change one's body language to appear more confident or alpha male is not authentic and can be unattractive, as it contradicts our true self. Instead, the speaker emphasizes the importance of holistic self-improvement, focusing on improving every pillar of life and achieving goals in different areas such as mental health, fitness, and relationships. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of improving posture, as technology and modern life have negatively impacted posture. Simple steps like standing up straight with shoulders back and consistently stretching can greatly improve posture and overall appearance.
00:30:00 In this section of the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of taking care of your posture and body language to improve social skills. They recommend doing stretches and joining a yoga class to improve posture, highlighting a simple exercise to reverse forward neck posture. The speaker also explains the concepts of open and closed body language, where open body language shows a person's comfort with you, while closed body language implies discomfort or disinterest. They suggest observing people's feet to judge their interest and receptiveness in a conversation. However, it is also important to note that open and closed body language may not always be accurate indicators of a person's feelings, and external factors like cold weather can affect body language.
00:35:00 In this section, the importance of body language and eye contact in making friends online is discussed. It is emphasized that body language is not always a reliable indicator of someone's interest in a conversation, and people should focus on quickly determining if the person is open or closed to them. Eye contact is highlighted as a fundamental social skill that many struggle with, particularly when it comes to interacting with girls. The video stresses that eye contact is a symptom of being interested in the other person's soul, and not just a physical act of looking at someone. The underlying purpose of eye contact is to establish a connection with the other person and show an interest in their story.
00:40:00 In this section, the video emphasizes the importance of genuine eye contact in making friends online, stating that it involves understanding and acknowledging the other person. The speaker advises generating thoughts about the other person instead of focusing on oneself to improve eye contact. Basic conversations are also discussed, with the three F's of a successful interaction: funny, friendly, and fast. Making conversation humorous yet light-hearted, smiling and making eye contact to be seen as a friend, and leaving after the interaction’s high point all add value to the basic conversation.
00:45:00 In this section, the video discusses the two types of conversations: basic and deeper. Basic conversations are focused on the current situation and last just a few seconds, while deeper conversations are more meaningful, personal and last longer. To get to deeper conversations, it’s important to master basic conversations first and create opportunities to ask personal questions, find private spaces to encourage openness, and be present in the conversation. The video emphasizes the importance of presence, and that you can build it by practicing long-term meditation or simply setting the intention to be more present.
00:50:00 In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of engaging in deep conversations and truly listening to the other person. Topics like ambitions, goals, fears, and mental health can help deepen connections with others. However, even if a conversation takes a negative turn, it can still be valuable as long as it is ended on a positive note. The speaker also acknowledges the fear of rejection that is common when making new friends, but encourages viewers to focus on the potential regret and loneliness that may result from not putting themselves out there. Rejection can feel physically and mentally painful, but it's important to keep a positive mindset and keep trying. The speaker notes that most people are friendly and receptive to making new connections, and rejection can be seen as a muscle soreness that shows one is taking the necessary steps to grow.
00:55:00 In this section, the speaker talks about the advantages of making friends online and shares his own experiences. He initially had doubts about online friendships, but he found that they are indeed real and can lead to valuable relationships. Online communities offer the opportunity to find like-minded people, who share the same interests and goals. The speaker advises people to be authentic, think about their interests and find spaces where these communities thrive, such as subreddits or YouTube channels. By showing personality and making oneself known in these communities, it is possible to make real connections with people and even turn them into good friends.

01:00:00 - 01:45:00

The video provides a comprehensive guide on how to make friends online and in person, covering various topics such as engaging with people at the gym, making small talk at school, improving storytelling skills, and developing advanced social skills such as leadership, charisma, and presence. The speaker emphasizes the importance of continuous practice and taking small steps to improve social skills, eventually leading to lasting friendships and positive changes in one's personal and professional life. Furthermore, the creator shares his personal experiences and encourages viewers to join his community by providing a link to his Discord server.

01:00:00 In this section of the video, the speaker discusses how to make friends online by being part of a community that shares the same interests. One way to establish deeper connections is by moving from public conversations to one-on-one video calls. The speaker emphasizes the importance of dealing with the nervousness, excitement, and potential rejection that come with video calls with strangers. Furthermore, the speaker suggests continuously joining micro-communities and making friends within them, eventually leading to the possibility of meeting up in person. While some might say that the gym is not a place to socialize, the speaker shares that it has been the majority of their social life, and they have had entirely positive experiences with making friends at the gym.
01:05:00 In this section, the speaker shares advice on making friends in the gym. He suggests starting a conversation by asking someone nearby to watch your stuff while you go to the bathroom, which creates an opportunity to come back and talk to them again. He explains that doing a small favor for someone, like watching their belongings, can make them automatically like you more. He shares a personal story about meeting his best friend in the gym by asking him to watch his stuff and striking up a conversation. Despite people saying to not disturb others in the gym, the speaker argues that most people are not in the "zone" to the point where they cannot be interrupted.
01:10:00 In this section of the video, the speaker talks about the importance of getting rid of the limiting belief that one shouldn't disturb others in the gym. He shares his personal experiences of making friends in the gym and encourages viewers to start talking to others in their gym too. The speaker also talks about the importance of making friends in school and how it can be challenging for some individuals. He emphasizes the need to believe in oneself and take small opportunities to speak to new people, even if it means going against social norms that may lead to loneliness.
01:15:00 In this section, the speaker provides advice on how to make friends at school by simply engaging in basic conversations with new people during lunchtime or breaks, thereby increasing the chances of making new friends. The speaker emphasizes that the key is to engage in more conversations because some of them may turn into deep conversations that lead to new friendships. Furthermore, the speaker suggests getting the ball rolling before arriving at a social event or party by talking to strangers in the area to increase social momentum, which leads to better socialization at the event. While he cautions that people met at parties or social events may not become lasting friends, he emphasizes being a social and engaging person to enjoy the party and make friends for the night.
01:20:00 In this section, the YouTuber recommends getting socially lubed up before attending a social event to help set a nice vibe and create a good first impression. He suggests speaking to as many people as possible on the way to the event, asking random questions, giving fist bumps or high-fives, and hyping up more and more. He advises against pretending you're busy or standing around awkwardly, and instead, suggests becoming the social butterfly of the group. The YouTuber emphasizes that it's important to focus on basic conversations and telling interesting, exciting stories rather than diving into deep conversations. He suggests being yourself and not lying to appear cool.
01:25:00 In this section, the speaker discusses advanced social skills such as leadership, charisma, and storytelling. However, he notes that individuals who are new to social skills should focus on the basics such as eye contact, smiling, and basic and deep conversations as this will lead to a higher improvement in one's social skills. Being the initiator and making plans with others is a key component of leadership, and the speaker describes how he became a leader at university by hosting pre-drinks and after-parties. He urges individuals to take responsibility for bringing people into their plans and to become the person who invites others to join in. Being the leader in these situations can set a positive tone and make one feel like a host, which can be very rewarding.
01:30:00 In this section, the speaker covers the second and third advanced social skills: charisma and storytelling. Charisma involves three pillars: presence, warmth, and power. To improve presence, one should practice meditation to develop total focus. Warmth is not only about being kind but also having power, while storytelling is a crucial part of social skills. It helps to influence and visualize the interaction required among individuals to make friendships. Captivating people with stories can be practiced and is a useful tool for socializing in groups or parties, making the individual more approachable and interesting.
01:35:00 In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of storytelling skills and breaks down the elements of a good story. He suggests that practice makes perfect when it comes to telling captivating stories and encourages people to tell more stories to gain experience in the area. He also highlights the significance of considering the audience when telling a story and shares an example of how he tells a story about getting deported from Croatia at parties because the subject matter relates to the audience. Additionally, he shares a detailed account of his experience of buying MDMA in Croatia and almost being imprisoned, showcasing the depth and interest that well-told stories can provide.
01:40:00 In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of storytelling to connect with others and leave a lasting impression. He encourages people to embrace their past experiences and share them with others, even if they are not necessarily proud of them, as they can create relatability and interesting conversations. Knowing the audience is crucial in telling good stories, and the speaker advises on how to invoke emotion and mental pictures to make them feel part of the story. Storytelling is a skill that can be developed, and the speaker recommends practicing it by telling stories and invoking emotions to captivate audiences. At the end of the section, the speaker highlights how improving social skills can lead to positive changes, from having healthier relationships to being more productive in life.
01:45:00 In this section, the creator provides some additional details about himself and his interests, including topics related to self-improvement, mental and physical health, and his Youtube channel which has rapidly gained popularity. He also shares a link to his Discord server, which is available for anyone who wants to join the community that he has created.