Summary of 13_Cap. 9: Hábito 5: Busca primero entender, luego ser entendido

00:00:00 - 00:40:00

The video 13_Cap. 9: Hábito 5: Busca primero entender, luego ser entendido discusses the importance of understanding and listening to others before attempting to understand or listen to others. It talks about the two important stages of the habit: first understanding, and then being understood. It offers the example of a father who wrote one of his successful books when he was 19 years old. He was constantly told by others how good his books were, but he was also very smart. He thought after finishing his first book that he was smarter than his father. Two years later, he finished his second book and was convinced that he was smarter than his father. The second half of the habit, being understood, is as important as the first half of the habit, practicing first. Today, he lost, won, or tied games. He does not tell his mother how he feels, he does not listen to her, and he does not understand her. He has been carrying these emotions inside him while his parents continue to have no idea how he feels. However, this is not healthy. He remembers that feelings that are not expressed are buried alive and then come out in more unpleasant ways. He must talk about his feelings

• 00:00:00 The video discusses Habit No. 5, which is seeking first to understand, then to be understood. It discusses two ears and one mouth, and says that before putting on another person's shoes, one must first take off ones own. An anonymous person says that he takes off his shoes at a shoe store. The vendor asks what type of shoes the anonymous person is looking for, and the anonymous person says that he is looking for something that he believes he will like, and that everyone in the store wears. He trusts me, so he goes on and returns with more generous shoes than he has ever worn. These beauty but in truth, I like all of them. Four different types of shoes are shown off on YouTube, three of which are in Armenian. The fourth is the latest fashion in America. This is the fifth habit: to look at things from another person's perspective before speaking one's own mind. The video talks about a girl who was anorexic, and how she met a girl who shared the same dorm room as her--a girl who was trying to help her. The girl didn't listen to the advice her friends were giving her, and she eventually lost weight and stopped caring about what others thought of her. She and her friend lived
• 00:05:00 The video discusses the author's unusual eating habits and her neurosis around exercise, which made her appear strange to others. The author looks at her old photos and sees how terrible she looked at 18, but her friends didn't treat her that way. Instead, they listened to her and helped her when she needed it. She lost confidence in their advice, and avoided getting hurt as much as possible to avoid their prescriptions not working. If she had only listened to them and not judged herself, she might have been able to overcome her eating disorder sooner. This short poem shows how important it is for people to be heard and understood.
• 00:10:00 In this video, a teacher explains the five styles of listening, and how to improve listening skills. He provides a five-point plan for improving listening: 1) Be aware of what is being said. 2) Listen selectively. 3) Listen egocentrically, focusing on the words alone. 4) Distract yourself. 5) Be aware of your own thoughts and listen empathically. The five styles of listening are: 1) Paying attention to what is being said; 2) Selectively listening to only selected words; 3) Listening egocentrically, focusing on the speaker's feelings instead of the words; 4) Distracting yourself mentally; and 5) Being aware of the speaker's feelings and listening empathically. The video provides a brief example of each style of listening. The first style, paying attention to what is being said, is demonstrated when a friend tells a story and the listener pays attention to the words, without paying attention to the emotions behind the words. The second style, selective listening, is demonstrated when the listener jumps to conclusions based on their own thoughts rather than what the speaker is actually saying. The third style, listening egocentrically, is demonstrated when the listener assumes that the speaker feels
• 00:15:00 The video discusses the importance of listening to others carefully in order to build better relationships. It cites the example of a brother trying to understand his sister better by listening to her directly instead of judging her. It also warns against underestimating people because they may be wearing a mask. It concludes by saying that the person behind the mask is just like the rest of us, with different faces that can be revealed through body language.
• 00:20:00 The video discusses the topic of habit 5, which is to first understand, and then be understood. The speaker explains that this is how he approaches life, and that it has worked for him in both his interior and exterior worlds. He shares an anecdote of how his mother changed his perspective on car buying. Once she arrived, she cried and talked to him about how she had been working so hard to buy him a car, but was never able to do so. All of a sudden, she had the money to buy him one, and his outlook on life changed completely. His mother showed genuine emotions of love, fear, hope, and doubt towards him. She is never going to treat him the same again, and he begins to practice more with her. They come up with a plan to get him a car, and his perspective on relationships changes for the better.
• 00:25:00 In this video, a 13-year-old boy describes his experience practicing reflection and how it has helped him to better understand and communicate with others. He talks about how reflection is different from imitation and how it helps us to repeat the meaning of what another person says and feels. He also shares a story about how reflection helped him to understand his father's true concerns and motivations for wanting him to attend college. Finally, he challenges other skeptics to try reflection for themselves and reveals that if they do, they will be pleasantly surprised by the results.
• 00:30:00 The video discusses the idea of Habit 5, which is that you should first understand what you're talking about before you're understood. It can be helpful in conversations where you have something important to say, or when you're trying to communicate with someone you care about. In informal conversations or day-to-day conversations, it's not necessary to do this, but in important conversations or relationships, it's important to take time to listen and be heard. This is why you're saying that informal conversations or conversations on a regular basis are important for germination of ideas. You also talk about how you're worried that you won't be able to find the bathroom in time to listen to your mind. We'll look at another situation to see how Habit 5 can be used in action. A girl needs to be heard genuinely, and we'll look at another example of how this works to illustrate the difference. You reflect on your relationship and how it used to be. You felt that you didn't understand each other, but you eventually understood each other when you had an open mind. You also talk about how sometimes people don't understand you even though you understand them. This is because you have different pressures on you while they have pressures on their parents. It can
• 00:35:00 The video 13_Cap. 9: Hábito 5: Busca primero entender, luego ser entendido discusses the importance of understanding and listening to parents before attempting to understand or listen to others. It talks about the two important stages of the habit: first understanding, and then being understood. It offers the example of a father who wrote one of his successful books when he was 19 years old. He was constantly told by others how good his books were, but he was also very smart. He thought after finishing his first book that he was smarter than his father. Two years later, he finished his second book and was convinced that he was smarter than his father. The second half of the habit, being understood, is as important as the first half of the habit, practicing first. Today, he lost, won, or tied games. He does not tell his mother how he feels, he does not listen to her, and he does not understand her. He has been carrying these emotions inside him while his parents continue to have no idea how he feels. However, this is not healthy. He remembers that feelings that are not expressed are buried alive and then come out in more unpleasant ways. He must talk about his feelings
• 00:40:00 In this video, Javier explains the fifth Habit of Highly Effective People, which is to seek first to understand, and then to be understood. If you do it the right way, you can build up a bank of relationships, such as with a friend who has a sour mood. If you do it often enough, your friends will thank you sincerely. One time, you went on a date to a restaurant and woke up the next morning with a large piece of meat between your teeth all night. Terrified, you immediately remembered every smile you saw that night and every conversation. Every one of them would have been better off if your date had done it. If you ever tell a story that is full of lies, your partner will not want to make you laugh anymore. Talk about the good things, such as how your brothers and sisters help you out when you come home from playing sports or playing video games. They give you retroactive reinforcement when you do. You can give retroactive reinforcement in a sincere way, by asking the person first what they want, and then doing what they say. Finally, I want to share a thought with you. Retroactive reinforcement is not always the right time or place to give it. When you talk to someone, you should use