Summary of V. Completa. La importancia de ser como quieres ser. Tomás Navarro, psicólogo y escritor

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00:00:00 - 00:55:00

Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, discusses the importance of decision-making and the concept of Kintsukuroi, a Japanese ceramic technique, which involves healing emotional wounds. He emphasizes the need to avoid learned helplessness in the face of adversity and to pay attention to our emotions and decipher their messages. Navarro also stresses the importance of developing emotional strengths, such as self-motivation and prioritization, and promoting healthy self-esteem in children. He introduces the concept of "wabi sabi," which means accepting imperfections and encourages accepting oneself, flaws and all. Navarro defines success as the serenity found in one's life and the freedom this provides. Finally, he discusses common errors in decision-making, absolutist thinking, and the importance of focusing on reality rather than emotions.

  • 00:00:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and author, explains that his decision to put psychology at the service of people stemmed from his own childhood experiences. As a child with multiple learning difficulties, he realised the importance of decision-making which he believes schools should teach. He shared that desire and developed it through his work as a psychologist, where he started to teach adolescent children how to make decisions. Upon receiving requests from adults to learn the same, he opened a psychology centre and began writing books to provide tools and resources to help people live fulfilling lives. One of his techniques is called "Kintsukuroi", a concept taken from a Japanese ceramic technique, which is focused on healing emotional wounds.
  • 00:05:00 In this section, Tomas Navarro discusses the Japanese technique of Kintsukoroi and how it relates to how we react to adversity. When something in our lives is broken, we can choose to see it as a chance to rebuild it and make it stronger, just like in the Kintsukoroi technique where objects are repaired with gold, highlighting the breaks and making them even more beautiful. Navarro explains that how we react to adversity depends on our personality, and that while some people are empowered by challenges, others are defeated by them. He also introduces the concept of Mottainai, which means to take something valuable and give it a second life, showing us how we can repurpose and find the good in the things we might otherwise have thrown away. Navarro emphasizes the importance of using experiences as a means of growth rather than being trapped by them, and of learning to live with adversity by being prepared for it.
  • 00:10:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, talks about the concept of "desesperanza aprendida" or learned helplessness, in which an individual believes that their actions will not make a difference. He explains an experiment conducted on dogs kept in a cage with electric shocks but given a lever to stop the shocks, and another group of dogs without the lever. The group with the lever stopped the shocks, and when both groups were put in a new cage with an exit but without the lever, the first group searched for the lever while the second group did nothing. Navarro highlights the importance of not succumbing to learned helplessness when facing difficult situations, including both physical and emotional pain, and taking action to address the problem rather than simply bearing with it.
  • 00:15:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, stresses the importance of paying attention to our emotions and deciphering the messages they convey. He gives examples of how emotions like sadness and anxiety might be caused by situations like a toxic relationship, an unhappy job, or neglecting one's needs. Tomás believes that our emotions, motivations, and thoughts work together to guide us towards our goals and help us survive. By ignoring these signals, we risk developing serious mental health disorders. Therefore, he advocates for actively managing emotions, seeking help, and making necessary changes in our lives to align with what we truly want.
  • 00:20:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and author, discusses the importance of decision making, prioritization, and self-motivation as emotional strengths that help build resilience. He emphasizes the need to have clear personal objectives and not inherit them from others. Taking responsibility for one's actions and the ability to automotivate are also crucial to developing emotional strength. Navarro advocates for practical psychology courses to be taught in schools instead of just emotional education. Finally, he highlights the importance of promoting healthy self-esteem in children and gives tips on how to encourage it, such as providing recognition, praise, and affection.
  • 00:25:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro discusses the importance of having solid self-esteem, which can be affected by three self-esteem problems: low self-esteem, excessive self-esteem, and unstable self-esteem. He emphasizes that self-esteem is subjective and is formed by inputs received during critical childhood stages. Parents have a critical role to play in the formation of their child's self-esteem. Tomás believes it's important to recognize the effects of the messages one receives during childhood and to update one's personality accordingly. Finally, he discusses temperament and how it affects the expression of personality before the age of three, during which a child experiences the first identity crisis.
  • 00:30:00 In this section, Tomas Navarro discusses the formation of a person's character and the influences that shape it, such as family and peers during adolescence. He emphasizes that a person's autoconcept is formed during the most vulnerable stage of their life and influences their personality for the rest of their life. Navarro believes that many people with low self-esteem have a distorted autoconcept, which can lead to anxiety and insecurity. He also talks about the importance of accepting imperfection, as life is not always perfect, and one's expectations are not always met.
  • 00:35:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, talks about the Japanese concept of "wabi sabi," which means accepting imperfections. He discusses how, in today's society, there is a pressure to live a perfect life due to the perfect images that people share on social media, and how this is not a realistic expectation. He shares his own experience of having an imperfect physical feature in his childhood and how he learned to embrace it. Navarro also emphasizes the importance of understanding that everything is a process and that people have different starting points in life. "Wabi sabi" also means accepting that life is unpredictable and uncontrollable, but that humans have the ability to adapt and make decisions. Navarro suggests that teaching "wabi sabi" as a life skill should be part of the education system, especially in the current uncertain times.
  • 00:40:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, talks about the importance of accepting oneself and embracing the natural process of aging, imperfections, and non-standard forms of beauty. He suggests that we need to teach our children and review the education system to help them live a life guided by wabi-sabi, an attitude that acknowledges the inevitability of change and the impermanence of life. Tomás encourages adolescents who feel "strange" or out of place to embrace their quirks and see them as talents that can help them later in life. He also cautions against valuing happiness and success as a destination but rather as fleeting moments in our daily lives.
  • 00:45:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and author, stresses the importance of finding micro-moments of happiness throughout our daily lives rather than waiting for a distant vacation or event to come along. He notes that many people believe that success is obtained by climbing to the top and achieving recognition, but this often leads to feelings of emptiness and sacrifices in personal relationships. Navarro suggests that success is defined by the serenity one finds in their life and has to do more with freedom than recognition. He also discusses the errors that people make in their thinking processes, such as thinking too quickly and missing details, which can prevent them from living a full life.
  • 00:50:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, discusses common errors in decision-making. He highlights the dangers of thinking too quickly, superficially, and limiting one's alternatives. Additionally, he stresses the importance of ignoring irrelevant elements and avoiding absolute statements during difficult times. Navarro introduces the concept of the "isiisme," which encourages individuals to consider positive alternatives instead of only negative possibilities. Finally, he asserts the need to focus on what is important, while ignoring distractions and provocations, in order to make better decisions.
  • 00:55:00 In this section, Tomás Navarro, a psychologist and writer, talks about the errors of absolutist thinking and the importance of focusing on reality rather than our interpretations of it. He suggests that we often trust our beliefs more than we trust data and fall into the trap of drawing conclusions based on our emotional state. He introduces an exercise in which we identify our habitual biases and acknowledge our imperfections as humans, stressing that accepting this does not diminish our self-esteem but rather allows us to learn and improve.

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